“Why are your kids late to school today?”

That question throws me into existential crisis. Was it because Oscar tipped over his milk, Emma needed that thing signed, the extra minute I took in the shower? Or maybe it’s deeper I should have woken up earlier or gone to bed earlier or gotten married at 25 instead of 19 certainly meaning that I would have at least one less kid and a higher earning potential allowing me to hire a maid. I usually answer: “Poor life choices.”